Loose The Comment Fear
Categories: Uncategorized
Firstly, thank YOU so much for helping me out with a previous blog entitled “What stops you from making a comment on a blog”.
Having put out a call to action to you I was completely humbled, by the response and thoughtful help that came in. YOU really did help me draw some conclusions and make some important summaries, which I will now share with you.
The deliciousness woven into a lot of the comment thread was from first-time posters, people who had not made a comment before but somehow felt a need to respond and desired to reach-out, (this is the buzz phrase), and make a connection,(again a buzz word).
Reaching Out
I think in this world of social media and instant connectivity “reaching-out” is an apt phrase which does convey a message of action, a premise of holding your arms out, of opening your book to let everyone have a read. Reaching out is exactly what a blog post should do, if you do indeed desire to have feedback and converse with your readers.
Make a Connection
Now this is the key, I have come to the conclusion with your very meaningful posts that making an emotional connection is the door opener. We are emotive beings, we need emotion and feelings continuously and mostly it is important we can connect on an emotional level, blogs are perfect tools for this.
Just Because
Having considered the feedback and mulled it around in my mind for a week or more I am absolutely convinced there is more goodness in making at least a small connection (yes how ever small), regardless of your ability or skills on the actual topic in question.
What I mean here is having read comments such as:
“may not know enough about a topic to offer an insightful reply.”
“Fear that I sound stupid/uninformed.”
“I’m not sure if I have anything of worth to contribute”
“Sounding silly/stupid”
There are numerous others very similar to this… now, a BIG pat on the back to you for making the effort, that’s important to me, and also a big pat on the back for being honest.
BUT…..
Now, this is where I differ… I personally feel it is important to leave your presence felt even if you do not actively contribute to the discussion, even if you do not add what YOU perceive to be of value, even if YOU think you are not progressing the thread. All this is all of little importance, what IS important on a blog is that you converse, just as you would down the pub, it’s important to ME and YOU.
In the pub you may not engage in deep and meaningful debate on all manner of topics, but you would certainly not just ignore and not communicate something, even a nod, a wink, a smile, a hi are very important body language statements of acknowledgement.
I feel a blog is in a similar territory, it is a conversational platform, this is not a thesis for a Phd this is not a corporate document or a medical journal, this is me talking with you about my passions and thoughts, and you talking with me. This blog is an extension of me, this is what you’d get in the pub with me, but in text form minus the body language.
So here is my call to action.
Next time you feel a little of that “fear” (let’s call it comment fear) push it away and jump in, even if it is a “thanks for sharing”… this is exactly what social media is.
So, thanks for sharing.
That’s what blogging is all about! Engaging people and having them interact with your content – no matter what kind of interactions they are presenting. If you have a though about a blog post then you should tell it to the author – that way they can improve their future posts..
Thanks for the tips on those books, I’ve not read them but I intend to get a copy, having heard (the first in particular) the buzz around them.
Good thoughts Maz.
“eventually commenting and posting will become a ubiquitous presence in our culture” I think you got something there!!
Like it.
Hi Chris,
Really enjoyed your posting. This has synergies with my thoughts in terms of a new media sociability / sensibility that Web 2.0 manifests – particularly amongst the very connected and who have been previously referred to as ‘wired’ individuals.
I especially like your point about ‘reachability’ , ‘reaching out’ , something that I like to think of as reflective of the pivototality of new ‘new’ media – but then i am social analyst at heart and there’s nothing quite like making up terminology to get to grips what the social and cultural implications of these kinds of technologies has to offer!
In terms of blogging and comment sharing, this is something that I too have come across the ‘comment fear’. Part of this is do with the perception that people are going to get things ‘wrong’ and so are nervous about publishing in such a public arena , apparently I have no ‘fear’ so hence this comment to you. Also what can be commented on is sometimes very personal, especially when you consider (as you astutely point out) that the blog , and hence comment to that blog, are extensions of the self. The kinds of self-reflexive engagement that you have here then is complex, with the relationship between blogged text and blogger, between blog author and audience and between audience and blog text – Roland Barthes Death of the Author raises some interesting point on this. Also worth a read is Walter Benjamin’s work on narrative and autobiography.
Essentially in a way we are all becoming ‘part of the text’, or at least a part of the page of blog posts and comments. What could be more scary than displaying this aspect of the self for all to see , judge and reply to?
Just as users now take tagging and the algorithums of Web 2.0 for granted, eventually commenting and posting will become a ubiquitous presence in our culture – possible of Web 2.5 or 3.0 who knows! Meanwhilst new media will continue to converge and become more intertwined with our lives that will serve as extensions of ourselves related to how we think, task, act and live.
In short – good blog ! Bravo !
Chris,
This is an interesting topic. I can speak up and say that I keep quiet and “lurk” reading the blogs but not necessarily joining in on the conversation. As a member of ACHUB and Grasshoppers among other online community groups, I do have an interest in building and interacting with social networks, my only hesitation comes from the fear of not driving the discussion forward. Not contributing to the debate. But after seeing your point that this is all about community, I suppose I’ll mosey on up to the bar and make my presence known by buying the first round.
–Justin
Justin, and a great step forward that is, good on you!
And thanks for the drink, rockin!
A very clear and well-put analysis of the topic at hand. (God, I’m starting to sound like an academic/spin-doctor…HELP! Soul in peril!) Seriously, this is a helpful perspective to consider for the virtually shy like me. Consider my little fear vanquished – on this blog anyway. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day….
Thanks Marty, so good to hear that.
Hey Rich good one!!
Like the outro of a song, the final cadence… closure.
Good stuff.
Brian..
If I were in the pub with you I’d expect nothing different, you feel it, say it my friend.
This is great “Loose the attitude of superstar. It’s silly”… love that.
A reply to a blog post, an audio or video netcast, or even a simple mini-blog such as Twitter or the wall on Facebook is an example of “communication completed.”
Are we not just rambling a monologue if we don’t get some feedback? Yet, so very often the comments are empty and the message is delivered without knowing if it made an impact, had an ear to hear, or a thought stimulated.
I am so eager to hear from others about what they thought when I post. I want to know if they liked it, didn’t like it, had an alternative view — or counterpoint statement.
As a career communicator and educator I find that even the simple nods, raised eyebrows, or even a slight turn at the corner of someone’s mouth as Chris mentioned can convey that they are receiving my message. In the digital world this has to be conveyed through words, video, or audio… and can be done very simply (voicemail feedback lines, comment sections on blogs, and even quick posts at blip.tv, blogtv.com, Facebook, or Ustream.tv). It ALL completes the cycle and helps us validate our messages.
When someone, through digital means, motivates me to a thought or reply in my own mind… I feel the obligation to share it with the original author. That’s what makes this “new media” connection so addictive!
Well that’s exactly my point. When someone puts themselves out there as an expert at something, it invites people’s expectations. They invite comments. I comment on their blog, or I respond to their Twitter questions (I’m “Attitude” btw). Two things happen. They either acknowledge or they ignore. How can a self-proclaimed expert at whatever you want to call this social phenomenon afford to ignore people? That’s like a surgeon not bothering to close after the procedure.
A few busy new social media icons yammer social enthusiasm, and claim a mission of collaboration and social connection might make it their absolute top priority to acknowledge people who risk foolishness and try to participate. To arrogant rockstar think-they-ares: Shut up about your innovative ways to create conversation, and start having one with EVERYONE. Loose the attitude of superstar. It’s silly.
Yikes! I’m in a mood today. Just so you know, I’m preaching to myself too! (See? I sometimes do stupid stuff like this when I comment, and later think I should have just shut up myself)
It’s kind of funny, there seems to be this idea that those in the “real world” who may be nervous or shy or just be of some kind of introverted, unassuming or unobtrusive character type come out of their shells on the World Wide Web, they may shout about societies ills on a forum or goad and tease their messenger buddies where they wouldn’t dream of doing this kind of thing like you say “down the pub”.
It seems (to me) that the longer the technology has been available to these people, the more their “real world” personalities reassert themselves.. so they become equally introverted online as they are off.
Perhaps the novelty of (semi) anonymity eventually wears off and people become self-conscious again.
This is an interesting observation and brings to mind some research we did a number of years ago into learning styles and online behaviour. We had expected that the online space would enable reflectivists to ‘come out of their shell’ as you put it – especially in asynchronous CMC.
But strangley this was not the case – it was still the activists rushing in and then rushing off to something else. The lurkers were identified as the reflectivists – and remained lurkers. May be different communication contexts do not necessarily change the way we behave…?
So, it’s possible that environment has far less impact self-confidence and/or awareness than we might think?
I always felt that environment was almost solely behind our ability to communicate, how we felt about where we were at any given time, it kind of ties in with the whole “we are the sum of our experiences” thing. Experience tells us that this is neither the right time or place to speak up.
I guess (if this is the case) that there are people out there that are not even comfortable at their own computers, behind their own desks, in their own homes.
The thought of that actual makes me feel a little squimy.
Just for the record.. I generally don’t have a problem communicating online.. I got over some pretty heavy shyness after I started my current job, I can actually confidently talk with my boss.
I still however have a hellish time of it on the telephone.
Probably always will.
Brian
I agree with that, in fact I have sent peronsal messages to some “icons” previously, people I’ve met, and I am “freinds” with, to NO reply!!
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not bitching too much, I know people are busy, but when some people evangelise on communication, and do not operate it, it’s ummm well, Hypocrisy.
Chris your encouraging participation in the conversation through blog commenting is just the sort of invitation more of us need to be extending more often. If members of the virtual club of new media icons really wants new people to join the party they may want to do more handshaking and less self-promotion. Your post was not done as a challenge, or scolding – as I have noticed by a few other bloggers. It was simply respecting the rather normal tendency of hesitation we humans experience when looking foolish is a possible outcome of participation. I can use a reminder, such as yours, now and again to participate. Glad to be here. Thanks.
Yes Christopher,
this is me jumping in and saying hello and yeah the posts I choose to comment on are somewhat predictable
but talking of fears. I will blog more I will I will.
That is my own fear, that no one will read me that I will sounds silly and yeah I know
See I’m commenting lol.
Thanks x
Good for you.
That’s what blogging is all about! Engaging people and having them interact with your content – no matter what kind of interactions they are presenting. If you have a though about a blog post then you should tell it to the author – that way they can improve their future posts.